February 8, 2010

Shouldn't Old Things Cost Less?

I don't condone spending $6,000 on a couch. There, I said it. But, I'll go ahead and file this under "ridiculousness to indulgently wrap myself in when I have more money than that British airline owner sunbathing on his private island." Environment softly plays to our puppy dog-eyed heartstrings with a tune backed by Earth-friendly recycled fabrics and woods. That's right, with only 6k you can do your part and save a couch. Really though, despite the exuberant cost, I'm a fan. Have to admit it. I recently visited the new showroom down the street and plopped down on a 3-foot deep, modern-lined couch covered in recycled US Army tent canvas. Even the "US" stamps were perfectly askew as they peeked out from the crevasses and folds of the washed-down drab upholstery. As much as I wanted to stand up and verbalize my disdain for the sick flaunt of gross consumerism, I just couldn't seem to get up. In fact, the damn thing was so comfortable, I had sub-consciously started inventorying my possessions, figuring out which heirlooms could fetch enough cash on eBay to secure myself a new Studio Sofa.

The "basic" model below will hit your account with overdraft fees and $4,000.00. And if you fancy a couch the size of a queen bed, well, that's gonna make your Visa sweat with a $9,000.00 sucker punch. So, if you win the lottery, buy everything else you could possibly ever want, single-handedly bring Haiti back to its glory and stop "Save Darfur" from being a catch phrase... go pick yourself up a new couch to make it rain on.

Those weird chrome legs can be replaced with wood... hopefully some rare, endangered species of rosewood currently only growing in Honduras.